Don't hold back, express it

I think this topic is very 'touchy' for some people as they feel ashamed to talk about it with people as they might look 'weird' or 'not normal', but this is something that goes on everyday for some people and is a part of their life. Depression is such a deep subject and no one wants to talk about it but we need to!

A lot of people have taken their lives from severe depression which is why i think its important that everyone who is going through it should express it to someone, sometimes we cant bring ourselves to tell our family and friends but even talking to a stranger can help.

I felt so alone and always asked myself questions like "do i even have anyone to talk to" , the only person i spoke to about it was the person i 'thought' would help but wasn't much help at all, i felt belittled as that person had told me i'm not going through what i was going through and that 'ill be okay next week', but i wasn't, it lasted months. People at work had noticed something was up and that i wasn't the same girl who used to brighten up a room when walking in. When i was going through depression i didn't want to get out of bed , i would always stay in the house, sometimes call in sick to work cause i couldn't face seeing people, i had suicidal thoughts which once lead to me trying to take my life and ending up in hospital, i feel so stupid looking back cause i love my life now but i felt so down and when i say down i mean i felt like i had hit rock bottom i felt like that was the only option at the time. I used to cry to the point id cry myself to sleep. My relationship played a big part on why i felt like i did, it wasn't healthy but i would always deny and ignore the fact that it was a toxic relationship. It wasn't just my relationship that made me feel low, my lifestyle in general i wasn't happy with.

I've been contemplating writing this blog post for a long time because i'm scared about what people will think but depression is a big problem in this generation and we all need to speak up about it and help each other out.

I recently experienced something that put me back in this dark place again (I'm not comfortable with saying what the situation was) but i had more people around me this time, my mom, dad, sister and best friend helped me through the situation and showed me that it wasn't the end of the world and i can get through it, it only lasted a few months this time, when you're in such a dark place you never think you're going to get out or almost cant imagine life normal again. I sometimes fear if i will ever feel like this again which is why i keep my guard up with certain things. I'm in such a happy place now although i still have days where i feel low, my overall mood is ALWAYS positive and I've seen so much growth.

I'm not ashamed to say I've suffered with depression and anxiety along with that which used to cause me to have panic attacks mostly when i was in uncomfortable situations.

I lost a lot of weight and lost my appetite at one point (my appetite has finally come back which i'm so glad about).

There are people out there that do not get over depression or go through much worse things than i did, which i understand, but i'm glad I've got to a point where i can tell people what i went through and openly speak about depression and anxiety and hopefully help people out, so to all women and men reading this please don't ignore the signs and speak to someone!

If anything use the contact button on my page and speak to me, I'd be so happy to give advice to anyone going through this cause i know exactly how it feels!!

#life #expressyourself #depression #anxiety #blog